The Old Woman's Version of Hansel and Gretel
Once upon a time, there was an old woman who built a beautiful cottage in a clearing in the middle of the woods. Now this cottage was as special as it was unique. It took her many years to build this cottage, as the cottage was made all out of sweets, including the furniture.
The walls were made from the darkest of chocolate all lined with the sweetest of icing. The windows panes were from peppermint sticks, swirling with red and white. And flowers were her proudest creations, all made of gumdrops with all the colours of the rainbow
Once finished, the old woman was unable to admire her creation as she had horrible eyesight. “I wonder how long it will take to get some visitors?” The old woman was lonely as she had no children.
And sure enough, one day she heard the chatter to two little children, but before she could go outside to greet them, they had started to eat her house! At that moment she decided that these children must be taught a lesson.
“Well, well. Don't you children have a sweet tooth?” she said, peering out the window, to them. “Come in, come in! You have nothing to fear!”
Once the children were inside the cottage, she exclaimed “You're nothing but skin and bones” as she locked Hansel into a cage. “I shall fatten you up and eat you.” She smiled. But unfortunately to the children it looked like an evil grin.
Of course the old woman wasn't going to eat the poor little children, she just wanted to make sure that the boy wouldn't destroy her cottage and that both children were well fed.
“You can do the housework” she told Gretel with a smile. “Then I'll make a meal of you too!” Then Gretel smeared butter on her glasses, so she could see even less than before.
Every day the old woman went to Hansel to see if he was getting any fatter. “Let me feel your finger!” What she didn't know was that Gretel had brought her brother a chicken bone, so when she went to touch his finger, Hansel held out the bone.
“You’re still much too thin.” She complained. “When will you become plumped?”
So one day the old woman grew tired of waiting. “Light the oven” she told Gretel. “We're going to have a tasty roasted boy today!” What Gretel didn't know was the old woman was joking and had planned a lovely dinner for the three of them.
A little later the old woman was getting cranky from being hungry, told Gretel “Run and see if the oven is hot enough.”
Gretel returned, whimpering “I can't tell if it is hot enough or not.”
The old woman screamed at Gretel, “Useless child! All right, I'll see for myself.” She went over to the oven and bent down to check the heat, when Gretel gave her a tremendous push and slammed the oven door shut.
The old woman saw through the oven window, Gretel freeing her brother and eating her cottage. Her last thoughts were how she hoped they would get their happily ever after.
