Writing Assignment - 6 word stories and 55 word stories

So I have be lagging on posting this. Our writing assignment for October was the 6 word story and the 55 word story. I wrote a bunch of the 6 word stories as I found them quite amusing. And I love coming up with the 55 word story but was able to only come up with one of them this time. Enjoy!

Wanted him. Got him. Hated him.

Wanted him. Got him. Devoured him.

God is dead. No one noticed.

God is crying. Do we care?

Saw him on the street.
Wanted to get to know him, his lips.
His eyes were beautiful, thoughtful.
Especially when unblinking, staring into nothing.
Got him in bed, knew it would not work.
Had to end it.
Not the way he would have wanted it to.
Who cares what he wanted.
I get what I want.

Writing Assignment - The Luck of Winners

This month's writing assignment was about the Lottery. Nothing weird or odd. I wanted to do something dark yet kind of funny.

The Luck of Winners

You see, it started off with my uncle Charlie. He went to the bank to apply for a loan to get his farm and this small town, you dealt directly with the bank manger regarding those types of transactions. The bank manager, whom I completely forgotten his name, told my Uncle Charlie about this draw they will be having, a lottery of sorts, to win a brand pick-up truck. All he had to do was to fill out his information on a small sheet of paper and the lucky person will be selected at random in a couple of days. And wouldn’t you know it, Uncle Charlie won.

Now my uncle Charlie has never won a single thing in his life, nor has been able to afford a brand new truck. To say the least, he was shocked and surprised. After he got some insurance for it and signed all the necessary paper, he decided to take it around town for a drive, to get a feel for it. He drove through town feeling as he was a king. When he came up to a stop light, the truck didn’t want to stop. Some folks who saw the crash claimed that they heard him screamed for the truck to stop, because my uncle Charlie saw what was coming towards him, a big ole’ dump truck. And well, that was the end of good ole’ Uncle Charlie.

Yes sir, he was the first we think, the first in the family from a bunch of bizarre accidents steaming from winning stuff. Take my sister Annie for instances. She thought it was all a bunch of malarkey. That is, until she got married and entered herself and her soon-to-be husband in a contest to win an all expenses paid honeymoon to a beach resort. Well she won. So the wedding came and the next day she boarded a plane to go on this great honeymoon. Well she gets down there fine enough, they have a great time until the day before they have to leave, and she gets an upset stomach. She didn’t think to much about it, I remember her telling me over the phone, “If this is the worst thing that will happen to me I’ll take it!” and she laughed it off. Well by the next morning, the newlyweds decide to take one last walk on the beach, and won’t you know it, she gets stung by a jellyfish. Not any old jelly fish, but one of those poisonous ones. Her foot swelled up to a size of the balloon and within hours my sister Anne was with our Uncle Charlie.

Now some folks think that we are cursed or something. Me, personally, I don’t enter any contests, raffles, scratch tickets, and never you mind a lottery. That is the worse. Poor old Dad is still in the slammer from winning a couple hundred bucks from the provincial lottery. I told him not to cash in that ticket, but would he listen to me? No sir. Even though Annie’s wedding was coming up. He went to the convenience store to cash in his winnings, and once the clerk gave him his money, a masked man came to rob the joint. Now most men would just hand over the money. Not my father. He fought tool and nail to keep that money, even to the point where he grabbed the gun just as it went off. The clerk was shot in the arm and was alive. But the police decided that it was my father’s fault the gun went off and arrested him for assault. He is still awaiting a fair and just trial.

Now these are only three of the many stories I can tell you of my family. Now I won’t get into why I only can see good out of my right eye, but let’s just say it involves a school raffle when I was a child. Now what do you think are the odds of all this horrible stuff happening within one family? Maybe one in a billion? Sounds like the same odds of winning a big jackpot. And you can have it. Because I won’t be putting in my loonie, no sir. Well, maybe if the if it is a really big jackpot….

Writing Assignment - The Old Woman's Version of Hansel and Gretel

Ok my writing group wanted to do a 500 word assignment about known Fairy Tale or a Fable, but we had to write it from the perspective of an other character. We also had to incorporate some sort of Menu into your tale. So I decided to write about one of my favourite fairy tale - Hansel and Gretel. I didn't really incorporate a menu item but the tale had loads of food items in it - I got away with it. Enjoy!

The Old Woman's Version of Hansel and Gretel

Once upon a time, there was an old woman who built a beautiful cottage in a clearing in the middle of the woods. Now this cottage was as special as it was unique. It took her many years to build this cottage, as the cottage was made all out of sweets, including the furniture.

The walls were made from the darkest of chocolate all lined with the sweetest of icing. The windows panes were from peppermint sticks, swirling with red and white. And flowers were her proudest creations, all made of gumdrops with all the colours of the rainbow

Once finished, the old woman was unable to admire her creation as she had horrible eyesight. “I wonder how long it will take to get some visitors?” The old woman was lonely as she had no children.

And sure enough, one day she heard the chatter to two little children, but before she could go outside to greet them, they had started to eat her house! At that moment she decided that these children must be taught a lesson.

“Well, well. Don't you children have a sweet tooth?” she said, peering out the window, to them. “Come in, come in! You have nothing to fear!”

Once the children were inside the cottage, she exclaimed “You're nothing but skin and bones” as she locked Hansel into a cage. “I shall fatten you up and eat you.” She smiled. But unfortunately to the children it looked like an evil grin.

Of course the old woman wasn't going to eat the poor little children, she just wanted to make sure that the boy wouldn't destroy her cottage and that both children were well fed.

“You can do the housework” she told Gretel with a smile. “Then I'll make a meal of you too!” Then Gretel smeared butter on her glasses, so she could see even less than before.

Every day the old woman went to Hansel to see if he was getting any fatter. “Let me feel your finger!” What she didn't know was that Gretel had brought her brother a chicken bone, so when she went to touch his finger, Hansel held out the bone.

“You’re still much too thin.” She complained. “When will you become plumped?”

So one day the old woman grew tired of waiting. “Light the oven” she told Gretel. “We're going to have a tasty roasted boy today!” What Gretel didn't know was the old woman was joking and had planned a lovely dinner for the three of them.

A little later the old woman was getting cranky from being hungry, told Gretel “Run and see if the oven is hot enough.”

Gretel returned, whimpering “I can't tell if it is hot enough or not.”

The old woman screamed at Gretel, “Useless child! All right, I'll see for myself.” She went over to the oven and bent down to check the heat, when Gretel gave her a tremendous push and slammed the oven door shut.

The old woman saw through the oven window, Gretel freeing her brother and eating her cottage. Her last thoughts were how she hoped they would get their happily ever after.

Another 55 Word Story - Angel/Demon

Another 55 word story I found from the same writing exercise as Nothing. I don't know which I prefer more. I am still amazed that I was able to come up with two 55 word stories.

Angel/Demon

She looks over at him. Like an angel, sleeping. Thinking about the good times, especially tonight. Passionate, caring and loving. It has been awhile.

She has to shower. Before sunrise. Before the blood starts to dry on her naked body. She hates that he made a horrible, sticky mess, Next time, she will be cleaner.

55 Word Story - Nothing

This was a writing challenge that an old writing group had asked us to do. At first I thought this would be an easy challenge but soon found out that I was mistaken. Try it some time. Not as easy as it looks.

Nothing.

Whispers.
In the night. Haunting me.
I walk down the deserted road, no one is around.
Laughter.
It starts to rain, lightly. Enough to walk faster.
Footsteps.
I hear someone.
Running.
Somewhere behind me. Breathing hard.
Panic sets in. I run, searching for a safe place. Nothing but darkness.
Pain, nothing but pain.
Then nothing.

Why Me?

Why Me?

Have you ever heard someone say this when something very minor happens to them? Like their heel of their favourite shoe breaks off going into work or they spilt mustard over their lucky tie before that big meeting? And when you hear it, do you nod your head and say yes indeed that is a horrible thing to have happen to you, you poor thing?

Why must people in our society need to feel like victims? I hear people blaming their mother on why they can’t hold down a job or their dad wasn’t around much so they can’t maintain a healthy relationship. Am I the only one who wants to smack these people upside the head? I can’t be the only one who wants to scream at them to get over it? To move on?

I should mention that I use to be one of these people. Why did my car get broken into? Why did a close friend of mine rip me off financially? I use to sulk and whine about it to anyone who would listen. Then one of my friends told me to shut up and get over it. Harsh? Hell yes. Effective? Again hell yes. He told me that he will no longer indulge me and won’t hang out with me if I don’t stop. At first I was furious at him. A friend would listen no matter what. But to what length should a friend do this?

My friend explained to me he never has these problems because of two things: he always is prepared for the worst case scenario and once it happens there is nothing you can do to change it - unless you have a time machine – so he just deals with it.

Think about the first one – you own a car, like millions of us do. What is the worst thing that can happen to that car? It can get broken into, stolen, or get into an accident. Now for the first two, what is the big deal? Yes is costs money to repair the broken lock or glass and you might lose a couple of items, including the car. But you have insurance, use it. If you don’t want to use it then don’t, pay for it out of your pocket. If you can’t afford emergency repairs, then re-think owning a car. Harsh isn’t it? But is it far from the truth? Be honest now.

Now the second is more serious. You can get into an accident very easily. Could be your fault, perhaps not. As long as you get out of it alive, you should be thankful. There are millions of people every year die in car crashes. What happens if you are hurt? You deal with it. Yes it could cost you loads of money, you might have to get another job or worst yet beg your parents for some cash. You figure out what you can handle and you deal with it.

Now it isn’t only the victim fault that they can’t get over it. What about their friends who allow these people to continuously whine and dwell on past events? They’re no better. In some cases, they’re worst. Some friends allow you to go on and on about the same problems, rehashing the same material. Maybe they allow it so they in turn have something to whine and complain about with other friends. And thus the cycle continues. Around and around.

I am not saying that you aren’t allowed to have a crying fit or get angry when something bad happens to you. But be conscience of how long you are whining about it. Because normally when you are whining about it you really aren’t doing anything about it. You can’t change the past (not yet anyway) so why dwell on it? Do something about it and move forward. And yes I know it is easier said than done but isn’t the first step is acknowledging the issue? Why is it easier for us for be victims and ask why me when we should be asking why NOT me? Everyone goes through horrible situations; it is what makes us stronger. And for those situations that are truly hard to get past, perhaps going to a professional will be the best course for you.

And if all else fails, start working on creating that time machine.